I am learning to re-craft my writing using the TPS rubric.
I heard a whisper but no one was there...
One Icy and cold night there was a girl named Asuna she was in a dark room and she was trying to go to sleep by closing her eyes and imagining things like having a baby sister
in the real world, she closes her eyes and starts to dream…..
When she opens her eyes she sees a land full of babies she saw one was crying so she holds the baby and she starts to make the baby laugh,suddenly the baby disappears and everything goes blank, till she wakes up in a place called the NEVER LAND…..
Suddenly she hears a whisper that says, “If you want the babies back you’ll have to go throw my place and try to find the babies,then you can wake up in the real world,whatever you do you can’t wake up in the real world you make a choice of saving the babies or waking up in the real world, CHOSE WISELY”…..
After that she looks around her and sees no one “IT IS CREEPY HERE” she says ....
Asuna choses to wake up in the real world because she knows that the babies will be safe because this is only a dream when she says that out loud the voice comes again, I didn’t mention earlier that whatever you chose won’t change anything MUHAHAHA……
After that she goes over the land and cheeks over it took a long time but she found absolutely NOTHING, I mean like can you believe it NOTHING after checking the whole entire LAND. Suddenly she founds a button right next to her foot she starts to press it then SUDDENLY NOTHING HAPPENS….
She looks around and she sees a door has opened she goes inside and finds the babies!
Then suddenly EVERYTHING goes BLANK and she wakes up in her room and she says “time to go to school”.
After all that dream she feels HAPPY and Glad that she had saved THE DAY!!!
She is not looking forward for that kind of dream she would most likely like to have an adventure dream….
THE END!!!
in the real world, she closes her eyes and starts to dream…..
When she opens her eyes she sees a land full of babies she saw one was crying so she holds the baby and she starts to make the baby laugh,suddenly the baby disappears and everything goes blank, till she wakes up in a place called the NEVER LAND…..
Suddenly she hears a whisper that says, “If you want the babies back you’ll have to go throw my place and try to find the babies,then you can wake up in the real world,whatever you do you can’t wake up in the real world you make a choice of saving the babies or waking up in the real world, CHOSE WISELY”…..
After that she looks around her and sees no one “IT IS CREEPY HERE” she says ....
Asuna choses to wake up in the real world because she knows that the babies will be safe because this is only a dream when she says that out loud the voice comes again, I didn’t mention earlier that whatever you chose won’t change anything MUHAHAHA……
After that she goes over the land and cheeks over it took a long time but she found absolutely NOTHING, I mean like can you believe it NOTHING after checking the whole entire LAND. Suddenly she founds a button right next to her foot she starts to press it then SUDDENLY NOTHING HAPPENS….
She looks around and she sees a door has opened she goes inside and finds the babies!
Then suddenly EVERYTHING goes BLANK and she wakes up in her room and she says “time to go to school”.
After all that dream she feels HAPPY and Glad that she had saved THE DAY!!!
She is not looking forward for that kind of dream she would most likely like to have an adventure dream….
THE END!!!
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